I'm Saddam.
Saddam I am.

I do not like you,
Uncle Sam.

Would you like
to bomb Iran?

We'll sell you weapons,
despite the ban.
I would not like to bomb Iran!
Praise be to Allah, and Koran!

Those weapons are
against convention...

Nevermind Geneva,
pay no attention!

We hate Iran,
it's our contention.
We have no qualm,
no apprehension!
I'll give this task
to Ibrahim.
He'll make a plan!
He'll plot a scheme!

Business as usual
with your regime.
My inner circle
is full of turds.
Is it any surprise
that we'd gas the Kurds?
We knew you gassed them
in '88.
We weren't concerned
'til you raided Kuwait.
You caused my invasion
to be abated,
I'm now on
your list of
most hated.

Alright, you win
I'll withdraw.
I'll also kill
my son-in-law.

With so little blood
spilled on
your soil,
your plot was much
too easy to foil.

Could this war
have been for
oil?
What is this sound?
What is this treason?
Don't mind me,
I'm the voice
of reason.

Now you've started
another war,
in time for
the election of
2004.

We won this war
without a hitch!

You hippies have
no right to bitch!
But won't this war
make Bechtel rich?
Who would you
hire to repair
Iraq?
Germany? Russia?
Or Jacques Chirac?
This debate is
tedious and may
go on forever.
To document it
in rhyme
is a tremendous
endeavor.
Perhaps it's best
to let it die.

Justification is
in the
beholder's eye.

What will
the media report
without a war?

Real news is such
a dreadful chore.
Shark attacks,
SARS, invasion
from Mars.

Terrorism,
sports cars, and
Hollywood stars.

Until we declare
war on
North Korea,
we'll have to
settle for this
journalistic
diarrhea.
This discourse
could go on, but
what's the use?
It's just a tribute
to Dr. Seuss